Game of BROnes

This sketch took a few tries. Originally, we had the goofy question of what sales in the Middle Ages were like because speaking in Olde English is funny. Ross bought potato sacks on Amazon and we cut holes in the bottom to dress the part and the highlight was an old asian couple walking into the office looking for a bathroom and finding 3 guys wearing potato sacks and no pants. Unfortunately, after watching the finished product, we each lost 1,387 braincells because it was just that dumb. I don’t think we’ve fully recovered.

But like many things that are dumb, there was something about it that still made me laugh. So when the last season of Game of Thrones came back on, we decided to get back to the drawing board and make it funny. We knew we had to start with a better setup. Mainly because there wasn’t one.

[Ext. Kings Landing Sales Floor]

CORPORATE 

I would too if my sister was that hot

BEN

What happens in King's Landing, stays in King's Landing! 

CORPORATE

You’re not wrong! (Laughs)

FISTER

Good day, gentleman. 

And then Fister enters and tells us what we need to do and the skit begins. We were happy with this, but I thought my character - a habitual braincell killer - wouldn’t even have the wherewithal to think of a sleezy one-liner and that’s when we made the Colcall/Hodor connection.

[Ext. Kings Landing Sales Floor]

CORPORATE 

I would too if my sister was that hot

BEN

Colcall

CORPORATE

You’re not wrong.

FISTER

Good day, Corporate, Colcall. 

Corporate

M’lord 

BEN

Colcall.

And then we were off.

FISTER

Dark wings brought dark words.Corporate, hath thou sent a followup raven to Sharon?

CORPORATE (aggravated)

Aye - I hath dispatched at least 15 ravens, Fister

FISTER

And a raven to Todd as well?

CORPORATE

Aye… tho he hath bequeathed me a message to fornicate myself. 

FISTER

By the Seven! Gods forbid we end up like the last team who missed quota -

BEN

Colcall?

[SHOT of murdered reps]

BEN

Colcall.

CORPORATE

Colcall’s right. They’re watch has ended.

FISTER

But ours hasn’t. Winter is coming and quarter’s end is upon us. Now go slang that Valyrian Steel! Gods be good.

CORPORATE

What do we say to missing quota?

BEN

Colcall.

CORPORATE

Exactly. Not today.

[GOT music build-up leads to gruesome death]

Ben

Colcall?! Colcall! Colcall!

[GOT Music. End.]

It’s important to play to your strengths. For me, that’s keeping my lines to a one-word maximum.

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