Creamy Memes

One of the frustrating aspects of creating comedy sketches on Instagram is that it takes one-millionth of the time and effort to make memes and they usually are the most successful posts we have. Here’s a collection of some of the memes and accompanying captions that we’ve posted since I’ve been a part of @Corporate.Bro:

Oh am I? AM I SUCH A GREAT SALESMAN? YOU DIDNT EVEN BUY. I guess I'll just hit quota with compliments. Nah, it's cool. When my manager kills me, that blood is on your hands. I'm fine. THIS IS FINE. #YouWouldaBought #ApparentlyImNotThatGre… — Oh am I? AM I SUCH A GREAT SALESMAN? YOU DIDNT EVEN BUY. I guess I'll just hit quota with compliments. Nah, it's cool. When my manager kills me, that blood is on your hands. I'm fine. THIS IS FINE. #YouWouldaBought #ApparentlyImNotThatGreat #FML #Feelsbad

Managers. We all have em, but there's nothing quite like a manager of the sales variety. Despite being totally different from other managers, all sales managers are ultimately the same. Yes, we know things were different when you were a rep. No, you… — Managers. We all have em, but there's nothing quite like a manager of the sales variety. Despite being totally different from other managers, all sales managers are ultimately the same. Yes, we know things were different when you were a rep. No, you can't get 20 more dials. And fuck no, a $5 Starbucks giftcard isn't an incentive. Just stop @theycallmefister #Salesmanagement #CleanYourPipeline #MoreDials #whatsyourforecast

Shout out to all the Sales Development Reps on their knees begging their reps to flip the opp. #SDR #keanureeves #memeremake — Shout out to all the Sales Development Reps on their knees begging their reps to flip the opp. #SDR #keanureeves #memeremake

Managers will tell you it's important to have an accurate forecast, but that's just so they can blame someone when it rains. As a rep, do I really want @theycallmefister up my ass like it's 1984? Creeping in the back of my screenshare like… — Managers will tell you it's important to have an accurate forecast, but that's just so they can blame someone when it rains. As a rep, do I really want @theycallmefister up my ass like it's 1984? Creeping in the back of my screenshare like the prospect can't see them? Do I want him putting 1:1's on my calendar every other day like I don't control my calendar? Fuck it. You want my honest forecast? Here it is: Shitty. #Forecasting #OhYouWantMyCommit #ImCommittedToDoingMyBest #BestCase #WorstCase #ShitCommit

There are a lot of things that sales reps have to do, like prospecting and closing. So it’s understandable for us to act like the world is ending and our favorite sports team just lost when you ask us to do ONE thing that falls out of our job descri… — There are a lot of things that sales reps have to do, like prospecting and closing. So it’s understandable for us to act like the world is ending and our favorite sports team just lost when you ask us to do ONE thing that falls out of our job description. Last time I checked, we get paid to bring in business and produce lifeblood for this company, not by teaching territory-stealing noobs how to do their jobs. Cause if there's one thing I hate more than marketing, it's a rep who closes more business than I do. #NotMyJob #NotMyProblem #NoNewFriends #WontLast2MonthsAnyway #IghtImmaHeadOut

For many, right now is the middle of Q4. This is where rubber meets the road; when dreams are realized, or depression takes over. Some people will be looking for new jobs, others shooting for presidents club. Bottom line: there will be stress, there… — For many, right now is the middle of Q4. This is where rubber meets the road; when dreams are realized, or depression takes over. Some people will be looking for new jobs, others shooting for presidents club. Bottom line: there will be stress, there will be substance abuse, and we will do whatever it takes to hit quota. #Q4 #quotacrusher #Chapstick #Whateverittakes #firemeidareyou #corporatebro #memeremake

Everyone thinks their time in sales will be temporary. Get in, make money, get experience, then get the hell out to make moves on "passion projects." Next thing they know, they are 85 years old with 11 grandchildren and 1 chapter written in their wo… — Everyone thinks their time in sales will be temporary. Get in, make money, get experience, then get the hell out to make moves on "passion projects." Next thing they know, they are 85 years old with 11 grandchildren and 1 chapter written in their world-changing novel. And guess what, they're still only 65% to goal. Better hit the phones, grandpa. #SADNESS #Southpark #BrokenDreams #65percent #saleslife #Anditsgone #MemeRemake #passionproject

It's Friday. It's summer. It's a new quarter. This is a repost. I don't give a shit right now. Unless you're asking me for a contract, we have nothing to talk about. #TGIFBitches #OverIt #IDGAF #datveindoe

Stuck in post-Labor day depression because you can't wear your white jeans anymore? Stop being a bitch and just remember my favorite acronym S.A.D.N.E.S.S. so you can bury those hopeless feelings and start dialing. #SADNESS #FuckMyStupidThumb

Nothing like the feeling of absolutely crushing your quota before the quarter is even done. Tag all the peasants who will never be the captain. #QuotaCrusher #TheCaptain #EoQ #CaptainPhillipsMemes

I know I’ll never hear from John again... but maybe I’ll follow up one more time... just to, you know... touch base. #JustFollowingUp #TouchingBase #YouUp?

I often find myself staring into space wondering who I would be had I not chosen sales... Would I be better off without the ulcers I've developed from stimulants and stress? Am I paying the ultimate price for being the fucking man? Then I remember..… — I often find myself staring into space wondering who I would be had I not chosen sales... Would I be better off without the ulcers I've developed from stimulants and stress? Am I paying the ultimate price for being the fucking man? Then I remember... I never chose sales... sales chose me. #memeremake #Temptation #ThePriceWePay #worthit

I’ve never been a big accountability-guy. Tag a marketing scrub. #MuckFarketing#Moreleadsplease #BlameMarketing @champagnepapi — I’ve never been a big accountability-guy. Tag a marketing scrub. #MuckFarketing #Moreleadsplease #BlameMarketing @champagnepapi

If you walk into sales with no supplies you will likely die on the battlefield. These are the essentials you will bring onto the sales floor, born out of necessity. But beneath the surface, you will carry more than you can bear, including a silent … — If you walk into sales with no supplies you will likely die on the battlefield. These are the essentials you will bring onto the sales floor, born out of necessity. But beneath the surface, you will carry more than you can bear, including a silent awe for the terrible power of the things you carry. #SalesStarterKit #TheThingsTheyCarried #YesWhey #Essentials

“You could speak to deez nuts tho.”I love when prospects ask to speak to my manager because then they get to hear the same fucking thing I already said. Thanks for making me feel like a peasant because definitely I didn’t already feel that way. #tak… — “You could speak to deez nuts tho.”I love when prospects ask to speak to my manager because then they get to hear the same fucking thing I already said. Thanks for making me feel like a peasant because definitely I didn’t already feel that way. #takemeoffyourlist #salesproblems #fuckouttahere #spongebobmeme

Letting your prospects in on 'secret deal' or 'limited-time promotion' is a great way to drive urgency. Sure the time-sensitivity is a load of bull shit, but cmon, you need this. Like, really badly. #Urgency #LimitedTimeOffer #PleaseINeedThis #LetMe… — Letting your prospects in on 'secret deal' or 'limited-time promotion' is a great way to drive urgency. Sure the time-sensitivity is a load of bull shit, but cmon, you need this. Like, really badly. #Urgency #LimitedTimeOffer #PleaseINeedThis #LetMeCheckWithMyManager

If people say going into sales is crazy. If they laugh at what they think you can do. Good. Because calling sales crazy is not an insult, it's a compliment. Don't try to be the top rep on your team. Be the best rep ever. So just close something. Eve… — If people say going into sales is crazy. If they laugh at what they think you can do. Good. Because calling sales crazy is not an insult, it's a compliment. Don't try to be the top rep on your team. Be the best rep ever. So just close something. Even if it means sacrificing everything. Don’t ask if your sales tactics are crazy… ask if they are crazy enough. #JustCloseIt #Nike #AskIfSalesIsCrazyEnough #JustDoIt

Hitting quota is great and all, but there's nothing like a harsh reminder that there's a world outside of sales and that there are people crushin it way harder than I am. #PabroEscabar #Imnotfat #Imjustsad #ThingsHaveBeenReallyHardLately #JustStop #… — Hitting quota is great and all, but there's nothing like a harsh reminder that there's a world outside of sales and that there are people crushin it way harder than I am. #PabroEscabar #Imnotfat #Imjustsad #ThingsHaveBeenReallyHardLately #JustStop #WhatAmIDoing #ScoopinButter #SADNESS

Office bingo: Tag the people in your office rocking each one of these and you'll win a buttload of imaginary points redeemable nowhere! #siliconvalleyuniform #SAASSales

"Why pick up the phone when you can close em via email?"⁣ ⁣ After 45 minutes tailoring an email to match the industry, company, role, and LinkedIn interests of your prospect, 99% of the time they're just a devil-wench who will stop at nothing to pre… — "Why pick up the phone when you can close em via email?"⁣
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After 45 minutes tailoring an email to match the industry, company, role, and LinkedIn interests of your prospect, 99% of the time they're just a devil-wench who will stop at nothing to prevent you from hitting quota. Shit happens. #UnsolicitedEmails⁣ #NoticedYouDownloadedOurWhitePaper⁣ #ButYouHaventEvenHeardMySmallTalk⁣ #WaitTilICallToFollowUp⁣
#YoureATankDebbie⁣ #AskMeAboutMyTemplate⁣ #AskMeAboutMySalesSlackGroup

Benjamin GouldMay 16, 2019