The Maturation Process of a Sales Rep

Below is the original script for this sketch. As you can see, we made some last minute changes to the end, which appeals more to the intellectually inclined comedic fans.

[NEW TO THE JOB]

CORPORATE

Honestly they have a great brand. Great product. The culture is incredible. I could legit see myself there for the rest of my career. Straight up.

[3 Months]

Its super solid, man. Executives are cool. You still have to deal with the normal company bullshit, but it's nothing like my previous job. 

[6 Months]

PERSON

How’s it going?

CORPORATE (stares into the distance as if recalling something bad)

Its…? Uh…. Its good man… It’s good… no complaints….

[10 Months]

CORPORATE

Why does our product never work?! I can’t believe companies pay 50-grand for this trash. Bout time your boy starts responding to Linkedin recruiters.

[12 months]

CORPORATE

I swear to God I could run this company better than the moron executives we got. How you gonna double quota and cut our territories in half??! Fuck this place.

[FISTER walks in with a new guy]

NEW GUY

Hi guys im so excited to join such a strong company with a great product and even better mission.

[Pan to CORPORATE]

CORPORATE (snarky)

That’s fucking precious.

[End]

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